1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
