Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
