I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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