McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
