real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I forgot wine drunk hurts
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
