the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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