I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
