dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
