I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
