We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
birth control should be required to get into college
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
