oh god the rape fog is back!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
