I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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