remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
