the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
