Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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