What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize