Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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