yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
