dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
