Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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