drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
