dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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