ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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