Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize