Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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