she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
