A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Swine flu is the new snow day.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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