Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
