your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
It's like God shit irony all over that family
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
