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sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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