she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Holy sore nipples Batman
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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