i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
