Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I think my nap took me to another dimension
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
