Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back

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  (732): the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back http://tfl.nu/90ja
  Replies (3) Good night (1782) Bad night (644)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.

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  (336): I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort. http://tfl.nu/myrl
  Replies (11) Good night (588) Bad night (2623)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work

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  (443): no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work http://tfl.nu/0acv
  Replies (9) Good night (532) Bad night (3683)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.

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  (905): MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it. http://tfl.nu/mzwz
  Replies (40) Good night (5346) Bad night (1448)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.

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  (781): Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night. http://tfl.nu/qv6r
  Replies (6) Good night (721) Bad night (4239)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.

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  (215): Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options. http://tfl.nu/xie6
  Replies (4) Good night (2295) Bad night (708)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.

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  (520): hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint. http://tfl.nu/kgm7
  Replies (11) Good night (3364) Bad night (829)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it

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  (717): no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it http://tfl.nu/l891
  Replies (4) Good night (539) Bad night (1381)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge

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  (859): heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge http://tfl.nu/k74f
  Replies (13) Good night (3423) Bad night (497)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!

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  (617): I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed! http://tfl.nu/vwkc
  Replies (6) Good night (1628) Bad night (786)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes

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  (609): The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes http://tfl.nu/oauk
  Replies (3) Good night (856) Bad night (439)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.

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  (518): Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes. http://tfl.nu/4mei
  Replies (10) Good night (1522) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Incredible.

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  (224): He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time. (847): Incredible. http://tfl.nu/oew8
  Replies (6) Good night (1259) Bad night (371)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER

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  (715): THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER http://tfl.nu/jvi1
  Replies (1) Good night (515) Bad night (170)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you

  (1+44): View more from

  Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause

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  (+44): This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you (1+44): Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause http://tfl.nu/oxqa
  Replies (3) Good night (821) Bad night (195)

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