Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"

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  (407): I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays" http://tfl.nu/5s21
  Replies (38) Good night (3652) Bad night (895)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.

  (417): View more from Missouri

  He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.

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  (417): He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets. (417): He's like the Bob Ross of love stains. http://tfl.nu/ts5r
  Replies (14) Good night (3665) Bad night (796)
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  (415): View more from California

  I have another pimple on my ass cheek.

  (420): View more from

  I'll be there in 10 minutes.

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  (415): I have another pimple on my ass cheek. (420): I'll be there in 10 minutes. http://tfl.nu/3vda
  Replies (25) Good night (1152) Bad night (8036)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already

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  (724): I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already http://tfl.nu/y51h
  Replies (10) Good night (2608) Bad night (2919)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys

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  (570): I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys http://tfl.nu/u1dh
  Replies (21) Good night (1343) Bad night (3675)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.

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  (914): I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life. http://tfl.nu/ku4v
  Replies (3) Good night (2531) Bad night (875)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.

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  (217): i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan. http://tfl.nu/dige
  Replies (5) Good night (4246) Bad night (1831)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment

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  (910): oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment http://tfl.nu/2in4
  Replies (7) Good night (3107) Bad night (1324)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens

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  (407): I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens http://tfl.nu/da7z
  Replies (5) Good night (3755) Bad night (938)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.

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  (469): on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers. http://tfl.nu/kub0
  Replies (3) Good night (2255) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.

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  (870): He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible. http://tfl.nu/mspa
  Replies (9) Good night (1390) Bad night (619)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.

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  (519): He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride. http://tfl.nu/vs7z
  Replies (8) Good night (1761) Bad night (1194)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin

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  (312): If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin http://tfl.nu/83ln
  Replies (9) Good night (690) Bad night (1047)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.

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  (321): He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet. http://tfl.nu/4g47
  Replies (3) Good night (422) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.

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  (479): Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast. http://tfl.nu/ay73
  Replies (1) Good night (862) Bad night (306)

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