And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
