if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar