I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize