I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
