two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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