I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
