My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
