My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
