didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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