here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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