But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
