Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
