She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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