i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
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No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
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Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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