In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he thought i was a dude.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Randomize
