I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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