it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
