dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
