I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
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Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
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Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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