girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I came so hard my ears popped.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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