her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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