Pappa wants mamma naked
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
