I hope mine doesn't look like that
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
