on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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