remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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